Big Grace for Big Sins

Honestly, I wasn't even sure I should write about this because, well, who am I to comment on it? It's not my life, it's not my problem, it's not my business. But to tell you the truth, it's really bothering me, so I feel like I have to work it out in my own mind and heart and writing often helps with that. My prayer is that this doesn't turn gossipy.

So, recently, it was revealed in the news that Josh Duggar, of the TV show 19 Kids and Counting, committed some sexual offenses against some minor girls, including some of his sisters, as a young teen. For those who don't know what this big deal is, other than that sexual molestation is a big deal and should be taken very seriously, Josh Duggar is part of an openly conservative, Christian family who have (or now had, apparently) a long-running reality TV series about their life and huge family. I'm still having trouble figuring out why these offenses are suddenly public now since they happened in the early 2000s (seems like a news outlet got ahold of police documents and set them loose, no doubt to undermine the often-controversial family), but nevertheless, it's all over the news and social media. 

The family and Josh and his wife Anna made official statements about the events, acknowledging their veracity, making a claim that they sought help for their son (what sort of help that was seems to be up in the air---the family claims he got professional counseling but many news sites are reporting he only was sent away to a family friend for awhile to do some manual labor), spoke to "authorities" (making reference that they did go to the police, even though it was to a family friend who is now in jail for child pornography and no charges were pressed against Josh) expressing deep regret and sorrow that they happened, and making an appeal to God's forgiveness and grace and their repentance. Nevertheless, Josh Duggar resigned from his job with Family Research Council since, rightly, perhaps, he didn't feel that he could properly represent the conservative organization given his past.

So obviously, not everything is known about this situation. It's clear something terrible did happen, and that the family and Josh did take steps to make things right, even though whether they did enough or what they really should have is now being debated.

All that being said, when I read about this, I shared on Facebook the statement that the family had made and commented that one of the reasons I liked this family was that they were real and never claimed to be perfect, despite the fact that their family seems very healthy and happy on TV. I also said that God can forgive even the biggest sins and turn people's lives around. 

Looking back on it, I probably should've refrained from saying anything. The information was too incomplete, too up-in-the air, too spun by bias on both sides. But I did say something, and one of my friends, who is not a Christian, reacted strongly and accused me of defending Josh Duggar and his actions, which I absolutely did not do. 

So let me get this out once and for all, so that my position on all of this is perfectly clear.

1. Sexual abuse is disgustingly wrong and should never be tolerated. Ever. I'm not even sure why I have to say this, but apparently I do because merely appealing to the great grace of God paid for by Jesus on the cross is tantamount to approving of sin. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Sexual abusers need to be caught. They need to be called out. They need to be punished. They need to be counseled and rehabilitated. Oftentimes they need to be in jail. Victims of sexual abuse need to be heard, believed, protected, counseled, and allowed to heal, and in this case, maybe not thrust into the spotlight for speculation and rehashing of past trauma. Just because Jesus forgives big yucky sins does not mean those sins shouldn't come with some serious earthly consequences. I never said otherwise. Honestly, to say that I implied that sexual abuse was okay or could just be smoothed over by God's forgiveness is really offensive and reveals more about the person who said that than it does about me or my words. 

2. Reality TV stars are people too. I have a love/hate relationship with reality TV. On one hand, it does feel more authentic than scripted sitcoms (although I realize many reality shows are just as scripted), and I feel, as many people do, that I get a peek into lives that are different from mine. I admit it, sometimes I do like the escapism. But here's the thing. For some reason in our culture we seem to think that because someone is a publicly known figure or celebrity that suddenly rules about treating them well or offering them the same consideration we'd offer to "nobodies" no longer apply. We are so used to seeing these celebrities in 2D that we objectify them and feel like it's okay to say whatever we want about them, even if saying the same thing to their face would be considered bullying. And yes, often it goes the other way; we seem to think that because someone is famous that they shouldn't be subjected to the same rules as everybody else and get a pass for behavior that would put the rest of us in jail. Both ways of thinking are dangerous. We need to remember that we are all people, whether we are known in TV land or not. Thankfully, that's not something God forgets, even if the rest of us do. Josh Duggar, like any human being, deserves to be treated respectfully. He deserves the same rights under the law ANY criminal has. That doesn't mean what he did was right. It just means as a citizen of the United States, he has rights. On the flip side of that, his victims need to be protected from the limelight. Thankfully, other than his sisters, they haven't been specifically named (and even then no one specifically named his sisters, but everybody knows who they are anyway). I can't imagine what this is drudging up for them. If it were me, I'd probably hide in a hole for the time being. And nobody should feel like they have to do that.

3. Passing judgment when we don't know all the facts is at best ignorant and at worst arrogant. Here's the thing. None of us were there. The only people who really know what happened in this situation are the Duggars themselves. None of us are entitled to know or are somehow owed the details and I don't care how famous the Duggars are. It's not our business. So before we make sweeping judgments about what Jim Bob and Michelle should have done and what their sisters should have done and what the police should have done and what kind of sex education the Duggar kids are receiving what FRC and TLC should have done, let's take a step back and remember that we know this (1) because a tabloid--and we all know how reliable tabloids are--released this information and (2) because the Duggars have a TV show and are a public family. None of this makes us experts on their lives or their decisions. And especially as Christians, we need to set an example of not passing judgment or gossip where it doesn't belong. That does not mean we don't condemn sin where condemnation is required. I'm not saying that. I think I've already established that we do need to name sins and condemn them and work towards eliminating them. But I am saying that we weren't there and we don't get the final say, and beyond condemning the obvious sin and symbolically embracing the victims, I think we need to step back. 

4. God forgives horrible sins. Yes, even THAT one. This really should be good news, but for some people it isn't. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because when we think of forgiveness, we think of some benign, mild, happy mushy guy who sees a hangdog person saying, "I'm sorry..." and grins and then with a big smile smacks the guy on the back and goes, "Oh, that's okay buddy!" It's like forgiveness is equated with ignoring the sin in the first place. Problem is, that's not what God's forgiveness looks like. God's forgiveness looks like this: 

God's forgiveness of sinners, like you, like me, like Josh Duggar, cost something. It was infinitely expensive. It cost Him the death of His perfect, holy Son, who lived the sinless, perfect life we never could, and then took the world's sins upon Himself and allowed the full measure of God's wrath against sin to come upon himself. "For our sake He [God] made Him [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV). God's forgiveness doesn't ignore sin. It displays it on the cross for all to see. Yes, it cost Him Himself. 

And because of that, because of Jesus' perfect life and death in our place, taking the punishment we deserved, God can forgive child molesters. He can forgive murderers. Good heavens, he can even forgive abortionists. He can forgive insert-the-worst-sin-you-can-think-of here. Had Adolf Hitler asked, God would've forgiven him too. 

It sounds scandalous because it is. It's absolutely radical. It almost seems...unfair? Unjust? That God's perfect Son would die in sinners' place? Absurd. I don't fully understand it. But at the end of the day, when I look at my life and how I will never, ever, ever measure up to the standard that God sets for those who will spend eternity with Him, I have to bow to His wisdom and accept His gift of grace. He defines justice. And I'm glad He did.

I think the main problem people often see with this, and the reason they can put people into categories of really-bad-sinner and not-so-bad-sinner (rarely do people put themselves in the first category), is because they don't see the reality of sin the way God sees it. We often think of the sin in terms of its ripple effects; for example, child molesters will obviously cause more ripples and harm than say, stealing a 25 cent candy from a store. Even harder, we often excuse sin that's easy to hide--- sexual abuse is big and obvious. My pride and arrogance and impatience...not so much, and at least not in the same way. But here's the thing: these are all categories we've made. This isn't something God thought of. No, indeed, God sees sin the same. It is ALL a major affront and insult to His holiness, His plan for the world, and His best for the us. EVERY sin put Jesus on the cross, the rape and the stealing and the pride and the name-calling and the whining and the discontent and the worry--all of that were the nails and the thorns. It all makes us unfit for Heaven on our own. That's why we need Jesus. He was tempted the same way we were his entire life and never once sinned, not one thought, deed, word, or breath. He was the only thing that could make us right with God. We find it so easy to think we are good people because we would never molest a child or rape somebody or kill somebody, and yet when we meet God, if we are without Christ, we will be in the same place as that child molester. And on the flip side, if that child molester repents, turns from his/her ways, and trusts Christ, they will spend eternity with Him, because God sees the righteousness of Jesus, not their own. They don't go to Heaven because God suddenly sees their sin as okay or at least not as bad as it was before. No. Clearly God sees sin as bad or Jesus wouldn't have gotten the punishment He did. Rather, Jesus gets punished in our place.

So the biggest lesson I think we can learn from all of this, and any public sin, is "But for the grace of God, there go I." Christians screw up. We are not holier-than-thou. God came to heal the sick and seek the lost, not the people who think they are good enough. So if you're a Christian, brothers and sisters, you are sick and lost. God knows I am too! But we have Jesus' blood covering us and the power of the Holy Spirit renewing our hearts and minds to be more like Him. I don't know Josh Duggar's heart, but from what I've seen (which is no more than anybody else has seen except those who are closest to him), he has been forgiven and has turned his life around. He's following Jesus. He is, and may yet, have to deal with the repercussions of his actions, and maybe rightly he should. His victims will probably need more healing now too that they are reliving this as the public talks about it, discusses their family, shames their brother, makes fun of them, assumes they are freaks and weirdos and hypocrites (sorry, have I now joined that group?). But here's the thing, if Josh has trusted in Jesus, I will be proud to stand beside him with the rest of the saints when we all get to meet our Savior someday, all on even footing, all sinners covered in the grace of our great God. And what a glorious day that will be!

Listen to the Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin!

My friend Mikey Armenta, who records lots of stuff for Librivox.org, has decided to record Calvin's Institutes for your listening pleasure. Here is the first chapter. Enjoy!

Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion Chapter 1

Calvin's Institutes Reading Notes 1

I decided recently to attempt to read John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion. Since I consider myself a Calvinist, I thought it might be a good idea to actually read the theologian's famous work, rather than just what people say about it or the stray quote here and there. So far, it has proven to be dense but far less difficult to read than someone like Shakespeare, though granted, the version I'm reading was translated in 1845 from the original Latin.

I've been taking notes on the reading just to help my memory, and I thought I'd occasionally share them with you. Some of it is paraphrased in my own words and some of it is direct quotation. I haven't used any sort of fancy citation method (MLA, APA), so you'll just have to forgive me for that and realize I intend no copyright infringement. Calvin has a way of articulating theological beliefs in a very logical way, so I hope you benefit from reading these. I'll post occasionally, but I won't inundate you with Calvin.

Chapter 1.2.2-3.3

• The fact that people are prone to idolatry is evidence for the existence of God and human awareness of Him
• It's foolish to think that people just made up God in order to intimidate/control others; such intimidation/control would not be possible had people not already had a sense of God innately.
• Even non-Christian/pagan philosophers (Plato, Plutarch) have acknowledged that man's greatest good is knowing God, even if they don't identify that God as YHWH

Chapter 1.4.1-5.1

• "[God]" can never deny himself, and is no spectre or phantom, to be metamorphosed at each individual's caprice."
• "No religion is genuine that is not in accordance with truth." ~Lactantius
• Non-believers in the presence of God feel not remorse, but "forced and servile fear which divine judgment extorts--judgment whcih, from the impossibility of escape, they are compelled to dread, but which, while they dread, they at the same time also hate."
• This is actually opposition to God since they wish to overthrow His justice.
• "The author of Hebrews elegantly describes the visible worlds as images of the invisible, the elegant structure of the world serving as a kind of mirror, in which we may behold God, though otherwise invisible."

Chapter 1.5.2-5

• God reveals himself in nature, science, medicine, even the human body
• We have within ourselves evidence of heavenly grace.
• "'Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings thou hast ordained strength.' Thus he declares not only that the human race are a bright mirror of the Creator's works, but that infants hanging on their mother's breasts have tongues eloquent enough to proclaim his glory without the aid of other orators."

Judging is Not a Sin (Necessarily)

If I had a nickel for every time a person, Christian or not, told me not to judge them (quoting Matthew 7:1), I could send my son with a full-ride to an Ivy-league university. When I was a less mature Christian, such words would stop me in my tracks and make me feel guilty. As I matured, guilt turned to frustration. Wasn't I supposed to stand up for what was right and warn people about sin in their lives? 

For those who don't know, I'm a pretty opinionated person. In high school my senior year I got voted "Most Opinionated" and was gifted with a roll of duct tape (hardiharharhar). While my lack of reticence in expressing my opinion on issues I feel strongly about has gotten me into some trouble, I have also been complimented for my bravery in speaking up when no one else did. The main reason I do it: I'm a stickler for truth and I really do care about others. I see the damage to my life of lies I have believed (and admittedly continue to believe despite my best efforts not to) and I see what lies do to damage others' lives. I see a worldly society (and I realize this isn't new) that promotes, celebrates, and encourages us to believe lies, and then punishes us when we don't. Even deeper, I know that when Jesus called me to Himself I found the most important truth of all, one that is a matter of eternal life and death. Spreading that particular truth has gotten me into the most trouble, unsurprisingly.

I don't like to be told that I'm wrong about something. Nobody does. We all like to think we have our lives figured out, whether that's the big-picture question of faith and religion, or smaller things, like who we love, how we raise our kids, what we spend our money on, or even what diet we follow. Jesus Himself spent a good deal of His time teaching about and explaining what we had gotten wrong, everything from how we perceive eternity and sin to how we treat our loved ones and our enemies, and He was ostracized, ridiculed, and eventually murdered for it.

Does no one else see the hypocrisy?

Matthew 7 is one such instance of this teaching. It's considered part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, a famous passage detailing how godly people are to behave and think. In it contains the famous quote about Jesus Himself saying not to judge others (Matthew 7:1). 

In a culture where it's increasingly repulsive to say that anything someone does is wrong, Christians and non-Christians alike have latched onto Matthew 7:1 in an attempt to ostracize those who dare make a moral judgment call. I could spend the rest of this blog post explaining why that in itself is wildly hypocritical (I doubt it's not too much of a stretch for you to figure out why that is), but that's not my point. Rather, in an age where tolerance is the highest moral good, intolerance of any kind is considered the lowest moral evil. Judging, to many people, is the same thing as being intolerant.

However, if you look at Matthew 7, and read all the verses in the context of 7:1, you'll realize quite quickly that this is not what Jesus was talking about. 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." (ESV)

Jesus was talking about hypocritical judging. What He was saying was wrong was entertaining and loving sin in one's own life, but turning around and calling out that same sin in others' lives. That indeed is a sin, and one we would all do well to avoid.

Really? Do people REALLY not see the hypocrisy?

If Jesus meant that we shouldn't judge anybody in the way that our culture defines judging, then these next verses immediately following the ones above would need some 'splainin':

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you."

In order for Christians to follow that command, they would need to determine exactly what sort of people were "dogs" and "pigs." Doesn't that involve judging? 

So now that we've established what Jesus actually meant by judging, I wanted to talk about some objections I have personally received in recent weeks to expressing my opinion, and articulate why I'm not sinning when I do, and neither are you! If you are often afraid to speak your opinion or truth for fear of others' reactions, I hope this encourages you to do so (particularly if you're a Christian).

I make sure to adopt this facial expression any time I'm interacting with someone and "judging" them.

1. Disagreeing with someone is not the same thing as judging.

As a disclaimer, I realize that how something is said can absolutely make this judgmental. We should never actively seek to hurt people by what we say, so if we come right out and call someone stupid or bad for what they believe (no matter how wrong we perceive their belief to be), then we are sinning and should stop. I am guilty of this. I'm guilty of it both in actual words and in my heart motivation. It's something I'm working on.

However, simply expressing an opinion that others may disagree with is not judging. Here's the thing, and I'm going to be blunt. If you feel offended by other's opinions, as if they have personally attacked you, you need to grow a backbone. I have felt this way, and after getting way too upset way too many times, I have come to the conclusion that people are allowed to disagree with me. It's their right. Maybe I see that they are misguided, or I disagree with their methods or logic or conclusions, but it doesn't mean they are attacking me personally with their opinion, and I shouldn't automatically read it that way. The great secret is that honestly, the world doesn't care as much about me as I think they do. People aren't living their lives with the goal of simply opposing my viewpoints. That's ridiculous. Now granted, opinions can lead to actions which could turn into personal attack (I'm thinking specifically of current government overreach into religious matters, for instance), but someone simply expressing an opinion I disagree with is not a personal attack. It just isn't. I'm not important enough. 

2. Encouraging someone to do or think the right thing instead of the wrong thing is not the same thing as judging.

I have personally witnessed a troubling trend that is growing in the Christian community, and that is this idea that we shouldn't call people out on their sin. I think two things are causing this; one, that we fear to be called "judgmental;" and two, we are buying into this cultural idea that the greatest evil is intolerance. I've seen this trend manifested in things as severe as complete doctrinal changes and believing in universal salvation, to smaller moments of missed opportunities to steer a brother or sister on in the right direction towards Jesus. 

The Bible is very clear on some things being sin and not so clear on others, leaving Christian discernment and conscience to be our guide. This leads to obedient Christians coming up with different views and actions. Two examples that happened to me recently illustrate both these ideas perfectly.

The first was an acquaintance, a professed believer, telling me I was being judgmental for suggesting that seeing a sexually explicit mainstream movie was a sin. This falls into the first category. God is very clear on His standard for sexuality, and watching two unmarried people have abusive sex definitely falls into a "no" realm. I believe this is 100% Biblical. The Bible is clear that sex is meant to occur between one man, one woman, in a legal marriage, in privacy.We are not to be exhibitionists or encourage it by watching it or reading about it, and I was not judgmental to say so. Since I have made strides to eradicate this sin in my own life, I was also not being hypocritical. 

The second instance falls into the second category. I posted on Facebook an article detailing why it might be a good idea for Christians to vaccinate their children. The article never once said not vaccinating was a sin, in fact, just the opposite. It acknowledged that the Bible does not speak plainly about that matter and we can only use general principles to come to that particular conclusion. And while the article did not say this, I personally believe one can probably find equally valid Biblical principles to support not vaccinating. This is entirely a matter of parental discernment and following the direction of one's conscience. 

So if something is clearly a sin, like watching pornography, we as Christians have a duty to warn other Christians that what they are doing is wrong (making sure, of course, that we are not hypocritically committing that same sin and excusing it in our own lives). But if something is not clearly a sin, yet we feel strongly about our conviction on a topic one way or the other, we are within our rights to lovingly express that and even gently convince people that what we think is the right thing to think or do. 

If we come across one of these "gray" issues and we feel strongly one way or the other, I think any discussions we have with people we disagree with should be cushioned in this idea of acknowledging that the Bible is not one hundred percent clear on some topics. And we should say that more often, because being black and white in the things that are actually gray make it harder to be taken seriously on the things that really are black and white.

Now, I say all this in the context of Christian relationships, where theoretically you are coming from the same basic worldview. It's different when speaking with non-Christians. I don't think we need to never tell non-Christians that what they are doing doesn't please God, because if we don't, they'll never know why they need a Savior. However, discussing this with non-Christians and expecting them to shape up outside of genuine salvation is not only futile, but denies Christ the power to do what only He can do: change people's hearts. Leave that to Him. 

Please stop saying this. You really, really don't know what you're saying...

3. Speaking up on something you care about in a general way is not the same as judging.

Before the Internet, generally speaking one's own opinion was probably not widely done outside of letters to the editor and town hall meetings. It was not common to be in a group of people, having a friendly conversation, and then one person, perhaps reminded of their opinion by the content of the conversation, to stand up and pontificate on their point of view. Mary Bennet does this in Pride and Prejudice, and it's portrayed as socially awkward and funny, because it is. 

But the Internet has changed the way we communicate, and now generally sharing an opinion is socially acceptable and easy to do. 

So when this is done on a blog, or on Facebook or Twitter, as long as we have not accompanied our opinion with personal attack (judging), hypocrisy (judging), or rude words (judging), then we are not judging as the Bible defines it. This goes back to my first point that we would all do well to grow nice sturdy backbones when interacting with friends online. If you see something you think might offend you, don't read it and move on and allow that person their opportunity to express their opinion. You, after all, have the same right.

The Bulldog tells it like it is!

Now, I say all this acknowledging I have made mistakes. Maybe I've spoken the truth, but at the wrong time or to the wrong person. I have certainly let my emotions get the better of me and have said things in anger or frustration rather than out of love and concern for others. And if you have personally been the victim of something like this, I'm truly sorry. I plead only Christ's righteousness and pray you look to Him alone for the perfect example of what it means to be good. He got it right every single time, and that's not something I'll ever do this side of eternity. 

I think though that we all need to be bolder about speaking truth. And I'm not going to lie, it will get harder. We may be ridiculed, outcast, or even killed for telling people the truth, especially if you're a Christian. And if you're a Christian and not butting heads with people over the things that matter most, especially salvation, then rethink how you're telling people about the love of God and what you're standing for. 

And if you're not a Christian, know that I'll never fault you or want to deny your right to speak about what you believe. We live in a country where we're still allowed to dissent and disagree, even publicly. If we send the message that this is something we shouldn't do, for fear of being labeled intolerant, then the metaphorical Thought Police have won, and that's the last thing any of us want.

Let's focus on the sin in our own lives first, finding our righteousness in Christ alone, and then spur others on to do the same. And fellow Christians, let us not be afraid to speak out, in love and with prayer, on what matters most to us, because we are NOT sinning when we do so. We're doing exactly what Jesus wants us to.