So, recently, it was revealed in the news that Josh Duggar, of the TV show 19 Kids and Counting, committed some sexual offenses against some minor girls, including some of his sisters, as a young teen. For those who don't know what this big deal is, other than that sexual molestation is a big deal and should be taken very seriously, Josh Duggar is part of an openly conservative, Christian family who have (or now had, apparently) a long-running reality TV series about their life and huge family. I'm still having trouble figuring out why these offenses are suddenly public now since they happened in the early 2000s (seems like a news outlet got ahold of police documents and set them loose, no doubt to undermine the often-controversial family), but nevertheless, it's all over the news and social media.
The family and Josh and his wife Anna made official statements about the events, acknowledging their veracity, making a claim that they sought help for their son (what sort of help that was seems to be up in the air---the family claims he got professional counseling but many news sites are reporting he only was sent away to a family friend for awhile to do some manual labor), spoke to "authorities" (making reference that they did go to the police, even though it was to a family friend who is now in jail for child pornography and no charges were pressed against Josh) expressing deep regret and sorrow that they happened, and making an appeal to God's forgiveness and grace and their repentance. Nevertheless, Josh Duggar resigned from his job with Family Research Council since, rightly, perhaps, he didn't feel that he could properly represent the conservative organization given his past.
So obviously, not everything is known about this situation. It's clear something terrible did happen, and that the family and Josh did take steps to make things right, even though whether they did enough or what they really should have is now being debated.
All that being said, when I read about this, I shared on Facebook the statement that the family had made and commented that one of the reasons I liked this family was that they were real and never claimed to be perfect, despite the fact that their family seems very healthy and happy on TV. I also said that God can forgive even the biggest sins and turn people's lives around.
Looking back on it, I probably should've refrained from saying anything. The information was too incomplete, too up-in-the air, too spun by bias on both sides. But I did say something, and one of my friends, who is not a Christian, reacted strongly and accused me of defending Josh Duggar and his actions, which I absolutely did not do.
So let me get this out once and for all, so that my position on all of this is perfectly clear.
1. Sexual abuse is disgustingly wrong and should never be tolerated. Ever. I'm not even sure why I have to say this, but apparently I do because merely appealing to the great grace of God paid for by Jesus on the cross is tantamount to approving of sin. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Sexual abusers need to be caught. They need to be called out. They need to be punished. They need to be counseled and rehabilitated. Oftentimes they need to be in jail. Victims of sexual abuse need to be heard, believed, protected, counseled, and allowed to heal, and in this case, maybe not thrust into the spotlight for speculation and rehashing of past trauma. Just because Jesus forgives big yucky sins does not mean those sins shouldn't come with some serious earthly consequences. I never said otherwise. Honestly, to say that I implied that sexual abuse was okay or could just be smoothed over by God's forgiveness is really offensive and reveals more about the person who said that than it does about me or my words.
2. Reality TV stars are people too. I have a love/hate relationship with reality TV. On one hand, it does feel more authentic than scripted sitcoms (although I realize many reality shows are just as scripted), and I feel, as many people do, that I get a peek into lives that are different from mine. I admit it, sometimes I do like the escapism. But here's the thing. For some reason in our culture we seem to think that because someone is a publicly known figure or celebrity that suddenly rules about treating them well or offering them the same consideration we'd offer to "nobodies" no longer apply. We are so used to seeing these celebrities in 2D that we objectify them and feel like it's okay to say whatever we want about them, even if saying the same thing to their face would be considered bullying. And yes, often it goes the other way; we seem to think that because someone is famous that they shouldn't be subjected to the same rules as everybody else and get a pass for behavior that would put the rest of us in jail. Both ways of thinking are dangerous. We need to remember that we are all people, whether we are known in TV land or not. Thankfully, that's not something God forgets, even if the rest of us do. Josh Duggar, like any human being, deserves to be treated respectfully. He deserves the same rights under the law ANY criminal has. That doesn't mean what he did was right. It just means as a citizen of the United States, he has rights. On the flip side of that, his victims need to be protected from the limelight. Thankfully, other than his sisters, they haven't been specifically named (and even then no one specifically named his sisters, but everybody knows who they are anyway). I can't imagine what this is drudging up for them. If it were me, I'd probably hide in a hole for the time being. And nobody should feel like they have to do that.
3. Passing judgment when we don't know all the facts is at best ignorant and at worst arrogant. Here's the thing. None of us were there. The only people who really know what happened in this situation are the Duggars themselves. None of us are entitled to know or are somehow owed the details and I don't care how famous the Duggars are. It's not our business. So before we make sweeping judgments about what Jim Bob and Michelle should have done and what their sisters should have done and what the police should have done and what kind of sex education the Duggar kids are receiving what FRC and TLC should have done, let's take a step back and remember that we know this (1) because a tabloid--and we all know how reliable tabloids are--released this information and (2) because the Duggars have a TV show and are a public family. None of this makes us experts on their lives or their decisions. And especially as Christians, we need to set an example of not passing judgment or gossip where it doesn't belong. That does not mean we don't condemn sin where condemnation is required. I'm not saying that. I think I've already established that we do need to name sins and condemn them and work towards eliminating them. But I am saying that we weren't there and we don't get the final say, and beyond condemning the obvious sin and symbolically embracing the victims, I think we need to step back.
4. God forgives horrible sins. Yes, even THAT one. This really should be good news, but for some people it isn't. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because when we think of forgiveness, we think of some benign, mild, happy mushy guy who sees a hangdog person saying, "I'm sorry..." and grins and then with a big smile smacks the guy on the back and goes, "Oh, that's okay buddy!" It's like forgiveness is equated with ignoring the sin in the first place. Problem is, that's not what God's forgiveness looks like. God's forgiveness looks like this:
God's forgiveness of sinners, like you, like me, like Josh Duggar, cost something. It was infinitely expensive. It cost Him the death of His perfect, holy Son, who lived the sinless, perfect life we never could, and then took the world's sins upon Himself and allowed the full measure of God's wrath against sin to come upon himself. "For our sake He [God] made Him [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV). God's forgiveness doesn't ignore sin. It displays it on the cross for all to see. Yes, it cost Him Himself.
And because of that, because of Jesus' perfect life and death in our place, taking the punishment we deserved, God can forgive child molesters. He can forgive murderers. Good heavens, he can even forgive abortionists. He can forgive insert-the-worst-sin-you-can-think-of here. Had Adolf Hitler asked, God would've forgiven him too.
It sounds scandalous because it is. It's absolutely radical. It almost seems...unfair? Unjust? That God's perfect Son would die in sinners' place? Absurd. I don't fully understand it. But at the end of the day, when I look at my life and how I will never, ever, ever measure up to the standard that God sets for those who will spend eternity with Him, I have to bow to His wisdom and accept His gift of grace. He defines justice. And I'm glad He did.
I think the main problem people often see with this, and the reason they can put people into categories of really-bad-sinner and not-so-bad-sinner (rarely do people put themselves in the first category), is because they don't see the reality of sin the way God sees it. We often think of the sin in terms of its ripple effects; for example, child molesters will obviously cause more ripples and harm than say, stealing a 25 cent candy from a store. Even harder, we often excuse sin that's easy to hide--- sexual abuse is big and obvious. My pride and arrogance and impatience...not so much, and at least not in the same way. But here's the thing: these are all categories we've made. This isn't something God thought of. No, indeed, God sees sin the same. It is ALL a major affront and insult to His holiness, His plan for the world, and His best for the us. EVERY sin put Jesus on the cross, the rape and the stealing and the pride and the name-calling and the whining and the discontent and the worry--all of that were the nails and the thorns. It all makes us unfit for Heaven on our own. That's why we need Jesus. He was tempted the same way we were his entire life and never once sinned, not one thought, deed, word, or breath. He was the only thing that could make us right with God. We find it so easy to think we are good people because we would never molest a child or rape somebody or kill somebody, and yet when we meet God, if we are without Christ, we will be in the same place as that child molester. And on the flip side, if that child molester repents, turns from his/her ways, and trusts Christ, they will spend eternity with Him, because God sees the righteousness of Jesus, not their own. They don't go to Heaven because God suddenly sees their sin as okay or at least not as bad as it was before. No. Clearly God sees sin as bad or Jesus wouldn't have gotten the punishment He did. Rather, Jesus gets punished in our place.
So the biggest lesson I think we can learn from all of this, and any public sin, is "But for the grace of God, there go I." Christians screw up. We are not holier-than-thou. God came to heal the sick and seek the lost, not the people who think they are good enough. So if you're a Christian, brothers and sisters, you are sick and lost. God knows I am too! But we have Jesus' blood covering us and the power of the Holy Spirit renewing our hearts and minds to be more like Him. I don't know Josh Duggar's heart, but from what I've seen (which is no more than anybody else has seen except those who are closest to him), he has been forgiven and has turned his life around. He's following Jesus. He is, and may yet, have to deal with the repercussions of his actions, and maybe rightly he should. His victims will probably need more healing now too that they are reliving this as the public talks about it, discusses their family, shames their brother, makes fun of them, assumes they are freaks and weirdos and hypocrites (sorry, have I now joined that group?). But here's the thing, if Josh has trusted in Jesus, I will be proud to stand beside him with the rest of the saints when we all get to meet our Savior someday, all on even footing, all sinners covered in the grace of our great God. And what a glorious day that will be!
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